On December 27, 2008, eighteen year-old Bristol Palin and her pretty boy-friend (now ex) of more than three years welcomed their son Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston into the world. The happy couple, who sinfully had sex out of wedlock, decided to follow the not at all pretentious four name trail blazed for them by Brittany Spears and K-Fed, who had named their son Sean Michael Preston Federline. At least Tripp Easton Mitchell’s initials backwards don’t stand for Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. Mutant Extra Testicle is much better.
Tripp’s parents made grandmother Sarah proud, by following in the family tradition of naming their boys five letter TR words that do double duty as sporting events (Track & Field), mathematical disciplines, (Trigg-onometry), and something clumsy people do a lot (Tripp down the stairs.) We at Hundred Watt Films, however, feel that Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston is much too normal a name for the Palin family. After all, Tripp’s aunt’s name is Willow (as in tree) and his mother’s name is Bristol (as in Farms – or in England the Cockney Rhyming Slang: Bristol Cities…). Therefore, in the spirit of this fine political family, we are going on our own power Tripp (or acid Tripp, depending on how you look at it) and campaigning to change the baby’s name to something that is much more on the right Track for the Palins: something that will really do the Trick (Tripp’s future brother). It’s not too late America. We want you! Please email your suggestions to contest@hundredwattfilms.com by June 27, Tripp’s 6-month birthday. The winner will receive an item of their choice (up to $50) from our Café Press store: www.cafepress.com/hundredwatt. There are no official rules or restrictions. You may send us as many names as you like. On June 30, we will post our favorite names and you, our adored fans, get to vote for your favorite. However, the names Hockey Puck, Bullet, and Colostomy Bag have been taken by our staff, as have the names we used in our series ElectME. (HWF employees and its affiliates are ineligible to win. The few friends of its producers are also ineligible, unless they have a really, really good excuse.)

Breaking news: Little Tripp Palin has just made his first imaginary friend, whom he has named Fall. Tripp and Fall are scheduled to be interviewed on the O’Reilly Factor on Monday. Ha, Ha, Ha! (Yeah, we know we’re idiots. We’re on medication for it.) This just in: HWF actress Jennifer Skelly (ElectME’s Caroline) is expecting her first child and has no idea what to name him. We congratulate Jen and will gladly pass along your suggestions. (The more outrageous, the better.)